Freedom & Recovery from Emotional & Narcissistic Abuse



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Narcissistic & Emotional Abuse

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What is emotional abuse?

Also known as psychological abuse, emotional abuse, which includes verbal abuse, is a common form of abuse that may occur in close relationships. 

Emotional abuse is about one person maintaining power or control over another person. It usually takes place between intimate partners, or comes from a parent to a child. It can also happen in situations such as schools or workplaces (for example, in the case of bullying).​

Is it abuse if there's no physical violence?

Not all emotionally abusive relationships are physically violent. Although emotional abuse may be less obvious than physical abuse, it can still have devastating effects on the mental health and wellbeing of adults and children. 


Methods of emotional abuse

Effects of emotional abuse


"Narcissists, whether consciously or unconsciously, prefer empathetic people because they desire others to surrender to the wants and needs of the narcissist, without any thought for the partner and their needs, feelings or point of view.

Empathetic people are drawn to narcissists because deep down they believe, consciously or unconsciously, they need to look after, save, fix or heal the narcissist. On some level, empathetic people usually don't believe they're deserving of love and attention, so they give to the point of exhaustion and emptying their well within, in the hope of receiving even the smallest of crumbs of connection, intimacy or love. There is an endless sense of hope for positive change in the relationship to occur, which rarely happen.

Emotional and narcissistic abusers blame the receiver, never themselves, which eventually annihilates their victims in mind, body and soul.

Getting away from this kind of abuse is vital for survival of the Self."



Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.


Narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with NPD may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them. Narcissists are commonly referred to as 'narcs' by those they've abused. eg. the narc

The truth about narcs

Narcissists don’t really love themselves. Actually, they’re driven by shame. It’s the idealised image of themselves, which they convince themselves they embody, that they admire. But deep down, narcissists feel the gap between the façade they show the world and their shame-based self. They work hard to avoid feeling that shame. To fill this gap, narcissists use destructive defense mechanisms which destroy relationships and cause pain and damage to their loved ones.

Many of the narcissist’s coping mechanisms are abusive–hence the term, “narcissistic abuse.” However, someone can be abusive, but not be a narcissist. Addicts and people with other mental illnesses, such as bi-polar disorder and anti-social personality disorder and borderline personality disorders can also be abusive, as are many codependents without a mental illness. Abuse is abuse, no matter what is the abuser’s diagnosis. If you’re a victim of abuse, the main challenges for you are:

  • Clearly identifying it

  • Building a support system

  • Learning how to strengthen and protect yourself

Many people may have narcissistic behaviours and tendencies, however, may not meet all clinical aspects of a diagnosis of NPD. When determining what's going on in your relationship, identifying the behaviours is more important than a clinical diagnosis of the partner. Being able to recognise the type of abuse and understanding the limitations these characteristics bring to your relationship is vital in taking care of your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.


Signs and symptoms of NPD and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can:

  • Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance

  • Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

  • Expect to be recognised as superior even without achievements that warrant it

  • Exaggerate achievements and talents

  • Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

  • Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

  • Monopolise conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

  • Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

  • Take advantage of others to get what they want

  • Have an inability or unwillingness to recognise the needs and feelings of others

  • Be envious of others and believe others envy them

  • Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious

  • Insist on having the best of everything eg. the best car or office

At the same time, people with NPD have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

  • Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment

  • Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted

  • React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior

  • Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior

  • Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change

  • Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection

  • Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation

Narcissistic abuse

Narcissistic abuse refers to any abuse by a narcissist, particularly emotional abuse in parent-child and adult-to-adult relationships.

Adult-to-adult relationships

A narcissist tends to seek out an empathetic partner in order to gain admiration of their own attributes and feelings of power and control, known as narcissistic supply. The narcissist creates a dynamic abuser and victim relationship through a cycle of abuse resulting in traumatic bonding that makes it hard for their partner to leave the increasingly abusive relationship. People with codependent-type traits may seek relationships with narcissists.

Narcissistic parental abuse

Occurs where parents require the child to give up their own wants and feelings in order to serve the parent's needs for esteem. Typically, someone abused by narcissistic parenting as a child likely struggles with codependency issues in adulthood. An adult who is or has been in a relationship with a narcissist likely struggles with not knowing what constitutes a "normal" relationship.


The 'covert narcissist' ensures their victim feels they're the problem, whilst projecting a charming and innocent image to the outside world. 

They do everything they can to make the victim appear guilty, not good enough, even shameful, with the specific goal to remove any credibility, so they can keep their place on the pedestal they created to protect their own fragile sense of self and perception of reality.

A narcissist is unable to show remorse or empathy unless they feel incredibly safe to do so. A situation only created by a particular combination of events, where they're able to drop their rock solid guard.

This is such a rare occurrence, it's fair to say it never happens. For most, it doesn't.


In life you will realise there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you and some will teach you.

But those who are truly important are those who bring out the best in you.

They're the rare and amazing people who remind you why it's worth it.


The fallout - Post Narcissist Stress Disorder

Much like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PNSD is a condition that affects people who have been in a close relationship with a narcissist. Living with a narcissist can be extremely exhausting and usually causes psychological trauma to the other person.

When you’ve experienced a traumatic event or series of events, psychological symptoms can develop that mainly centre around an intrusion of the past event into the present. Using self-protective methods that were helpful at the time of the event are the tendency to fall back on to cope with the effects of the trauma. However, this is only a short lived strategy, leaving you repeating the cycle of stress, anxiety and coping again and again. This ongoing pattern is not only exhausting, it also worsens the stress each time, leading to a possible feeling of 'breaking down' and unable to cope any longer. 


Narcissistic abuse recovery

Narcissistic abuse brings with its own unique issues, in particular, when children and families are involved. An important part of dealing with PNSD is not having contact with the abuser, however, where there is a need to have contact due to parenting or family dynamics, this creates a complex situation and requires specific assistance to ensure recovery is possible.

Trauma blocks in mind, body, spirit

Essentially, trauma creates blocked areas in your energy body. This prevents the flow of healthy, vital energy which gives us a sense of inner peace, health and vitality. Not only clearing the blocks held within the mind and physical body (such as pain from injury or physical abuse), you must also clear the blocks backing up the flow in your energy body. The energy body is a real thing... it's now been acknowledged in the scientific world and can be seen using an MRI scan. Trapped energy, blocks, etc, is another important aspect of recovery which must be addressed in order to fully heal and recover from PTSD.

The pathway to lasting recovery

Creating a safe space is vital to a successful recovery process.

A qualified therapist experienced in working with this type of recovery is also necessary.

In addition, an energy healing practitioner who will identify and work with you to clear the trauma from your energy body.

You've come to the right place!

This is why I've trained and qualified in these modalities, so I can bring you the recovery, peace and freedom you so deserve.



"Indigo-Grace is currently taking me through the soul medicine program and it has such powerful healing content. She has integrity, knowledge and is real.

I always feel safe and cared for in her presence. I have and will keep recommending Indigo-Grace."

Katie Bailey, program participant

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"Having had counselling plans on two other separate occasions, one with a psychologist and the other was an online counselling program run by the Monash University, I can honestly say this program is on par with most professionally run counselling programs. 

Indigo-Grace provides sound counselling skills and techniques, being a university qualified counsellor, and also combines that with energy work and the spiritual aspect of helping others.

I have found this program to be very cathartic and healing, I can now remember my mother and not feel deeply wounded because of her actions. As a child I was sexually abused by a family member and lived with a mother who was narcissistic.

About five years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and have struggled with depression and anxiety most of my adult life. 

I would highly recommend this course as it approaches counselling from all aspects, spiritual as well as clinical counselling. 

Thank you Indigo."  

Glenda Herman, program participant

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